Hi guys, i don't really have anything to update you on, in terms of the physical health side of things but i still thought i'd share a few others things with you.
My anxieties have been playing up more again of late, in a way that makes me feel like i'm heading back towards isolation. I say this because i'm staying in the house a lot more again. I don't really make any effort in terms of my appearance either. It sets off quite the cycle.
So, while i know I've done better in some ways (from time to time) of late, it's just a bit hard to recognize that when i'm struggling with other things so much again, if that makes sense. If it's not one thing, it really is another for me. There's always something.
Putting pressure on myself, in hopes that i'll challenge myself and achieve something is just too much for me right now. So, for last week and again this week, I've just decided to carry myself through as best i can, while staying in my comfort zone.
Next week i'll be going back to a psychiatrist that i haven't seen in at least a couple of years. Seeing as i'm going through this again right now, i say it's very good timing. This person and i worked well together before and got me places, so i'm sure the same will happen again this time round too.
These anxieties about going out, they also relate to how i feel physically too and I've also got this fear about going to see doctors again, hence why i have nothing to update you on there. Basically, it's a mixed up thing I've got going on, that's caused me to step back from everything and i mean everything.
Obviously i'll be talking to my psychiatrist about this in more detail but i just thought i'd give you guys a bit of an overview as to where i'm at.
Anyway, i think that pretty much covers what i wanted to say for today, so i'll leave it there.
Until next time,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly xx
Tuesday, 31 January 2017
Wednesday, 14 December 2016
Support for Dysphagia
Hi guys, I just wanted to take a moment today to share my appreciation for those who provide any form of support for those with swallowing issues. For me personally it has been a life saver, literally.
While it is known that i have dysphagia it is not known as to why, so when i'm going through a particularly hard time, it can be hard for myself or for anyone else to know what to do for me. Even just in general, i end up thinking i must just be crazy or something to be struggling in the way that i am.
During these harder times or even just in general, i'll turn to the supports I've found since i developed dysphagia and that personally help me the best.
Like today, i decided to read over posts in an Achalasia support group i'm in on Facebook. Just to be able to read things that i can relate to, that helped me in itself.
I guess the thing with me is that i hate having this condition so much so, that i end up trying to ignore it and anything about it. Yet, focusing on this blog again recently and looking into the support group again has made me feel ''better'' in a sense recently.
I think this goes to show me that it's probably best for me to continue focusing on the things that relate to what i go through. After all, i can't help what i'm refusing to pay attention too.
Anyway, i think that pretty much covers what i wanted to share with you all today.
I'll leave you with a couple of links to an American based site and an American based group that i particularly find to be helpful for support:
http://swallowingdisorderfoundation.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/77953468660/ .
If you're like me and live elsewhere, that doesn't matter. I'm in Australia but just always find their support to be better and they're just as welcoming. ☺
Until next time,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly xo
While it is known that i have dysphagia it is not known as to why, so when i'm going through a particularly hard time, it can be hard for myself or for anyone else to know what to do for me. Even just in general, i end up thinking i must just be crazy or something to be struggling in the way that i am.
During these harder times or even just in general, i'll turn to the supports I've found since i developed dysphagia and that personally help me the best.
Like today, i decided to read over posts in an Achalasia support group i'm in on Facebook. Just to be able to read things that i can relate to, that helped me in itself.
I guess the thing with me is that i hate having this condition so much so, that i end up trying to ignore it and anything about it. Yet, focusing on this blog again recently and looking into the support group again has made me feel ''better'' in a sense recently.
I think this goes to show me that it's probably best for me to continue focusing on the things that relate to what i go through. After all, i can't help what i'm refusing to pay attention too.
Anyway, i think that pretty much covers what i wanted to share with you all today.
I'll leave you with a couple of links to an American based site and an American based group that i particularly find to be helpful for support:
http://swallowingdisorderfoundation.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/77953468660/ .
If you're like me and live elsewhere, that doesn't matter. I'm in Australia but just always find their support to be better and they're just as welcoming. ☺
Until next time,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly xo
Tuesday, 13 December 2016
Where i'm at VS, Where i need to be.
Hi guys, I've definitely checked back in again in a more timely manner. 😉 I've just had some thoughts start to swirl around in my head that i thought i could share with you guys.
Basically, i feel like i'm having a flare up with my dysphagia at the moment. I did tell myself a while back that i will start seeing the ''professionals'' for it again in the new year. I guess with how physically uncomfortable I've been feeling of late, it's just intensified my desire to do as such again even more, so, that'll definitely be happening come next month.
Something i found interesting this evening though, is how i decided to google ''dysphagia.'' It made me realise that while i have this condition, i don't actually pay attention to the ins and outs of it. I have it, i feel how i feel and i just do what i can to get by and that's that.
It made me think. no, that's not the way i want to go about this anymore. If i really want my life to work better for what it is right now and to be able to have other things i want in my future, then i'm going to have to do a lot more than just ''do what i can to get by.''
This condition is tough no matter what and i don't know what things are going to look like for me later down the track but i at least want to be able to say that i'm trying, really trying to myself, for myself.
My head, my focus, it has been elsewhere for a lot of this year but i feel like to be thinking like this now, it shows me that i'm finding a space again, a space that i can use to pay my physical ''stuff'' attention again.
I know i'm going to find this all really tricky & disheartening at times as i have in the past but this is at least a starting point. The thoughts are there and i actually i have a referral to go back to a specialist I've seen a few times before.
So, I'll try and keep you guys in the loop as things start happening for me again in this regard. As per, feel free to leave a comment or get in touch with me personally.
Until next time,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly 😊 xo
Basically, i feel like i'm having a flare up with my dysphagia at the moment. I did tell myself a while back that i will start seeing the ''professionals'' for it again in the new year. I guess with how physically uncomfortable I've been feeling of late, it's just intensified my desire to do as such again even more, so, that'll definitely be happening come next month.
Something i found interesting this evening though, is how i decided to google ''dysphagia.'' It made me realise that while i have this condition, i don't actually pay attention to the ins and outs of it. I have it, i feel how i feel and i just do what i can to get by and that's that.
It made me think. no, that's not the way i want to go about this anymore. If i really want my life to work better for what it is right now and to be able to have other things i want in my future, then i'm going to have to do a lot more than just ''do what i can to get by.''
This condition is tough no matter what and i don't know what things are going to look like for me later down the track but i at least want to be able to say that i'm trying, really trying to myself, for myself.
My head, my focus, it has been elsewhere for a lot of this year but i feel like to be thinking like this now, it shows me that i'm finding a space again, a space that i can use to pay my physical ''stuff'' attention again.
I know i'm going to find this all really tricky & disheartening at times as i have in the past but this is at least a starting point. The thoughts are there and i actually i have a referral to go back to a specialist I've seen a few times before.
So, I'll try and keep you guys in the loop as things start happening for me again in this regard. As per, feel free to leave a comment or get in touch with me personally.
Until next time,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly 😊 xo
Saturday, 10 December 2016
Wow, it's been a while!
Hey guys, so i realise it's been many months since I've posted here, most of this year that is actually. My last posts were written back in March.
You may know that i made the choice at the beginning of this year to get myself out of isolation & actually have some sort of life, even if it meant having dysphagia in it.
Well, i kind of got a bit too caught up in all that. It's not that i forgot about this blog or you guys but i just didn't feel up to contributing to this community, for what ended up being quite a long time, as far as ''blog standards'' go.
Yet, last night while i was lying in bed i found myself thinking ''i want to at least try blogging again. I really want to bring that passion back,'' so, here i am. Better late than never right?
For right now, i just really want to get back in touch with you guys, let me know, how are YOU doing right now?
In terms of myself, i have been re-focusing. I have been putting my attention & efforts back more into myself & my overall well-being - mentally, emotionally & physically.
It might sound simple but it really is easy to lose yourself through the challenges you face in life, i most certainly found that out but clearly, you can and WILL, get back on track again.
There are always going to be hard things, there usually are in my day to day but it's the better moments that make fighting through the struggles worth it for me.
Anyway, if you have stuck around and you're re-visiting this space again right now, i thank you. It really does mean a lot to me.
Take care guys.
I'll do my best to check in with you in a much more timely manner for next time.
Until then,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly :) xo
You may know that i made the choice at the beginning of this year to get myself out of isolation & actually have some sort of life, even if it meant having dysphagia in it.
Well, i kind of got a bit too caught up in all that. It's not that i forgot about this blog or you guys but i just didn't feel up to contributing to this community, for what ended up being quite a long time, as far as ''blog standards'' go.
Yet, last night while i was lying in bed i found myself thinking ''i want to at least try blogging again. I really want to bring that passion back,'' so, here i am. Better late than never right?
For right now, i just really want to get back in touch with you guys, let me know, how are YOU doing right now?
In terms of myself, i have been re-focusing. I have been putting my attention & efforts back more into myself & my overall well-being - mentally, emotionally & physically.
It might sound simple but it really is easy to lose yourself through the challenges you face in life, i most certainly found that out but clearly, you can and WILL, get back on track again.
There are always going to be hard things, there usually are in my day to day but it's the better moments that make fighting through the struggles worth it for me.
Anyway, if you have stuck around and you're re-visiting this space again right now, i thank you. It really does mean a lot to me.
Take care guys.
I'll do my best to check in with you in a much more timely manner for next time.
Until then,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly :) xo
Sunday, 27 March 2016
Building on the Positives Regardless
Hi guys, i thought i'd give you all another update as to where i'm at.
Prior to the post i put up a few weeks ago, i was struggling with high anxiety and depression. I even trialed an anti-depressant during this time but decided i didn't want to continue with it.
Since I've broken through this hard time to an extent, I've managed to grow further on the positive aspects of my life. The biggest being my relationship.
My hardest time hit not long after my boyfriend and i got together. I was worried that we'd quickly be torn apart but my partner was and has been very, very patient and supportive of me, which i value and appreciate more than anyone could ever know.
We've been together for just over 3 weeks now and as the days go by, i feel we just get stronger and stronger overall, which is a new and very great thing for me to be experiencing with someone.
My boyfriend and i see each other frequently, which in turn has also been very helpful in filling up more days in my week. I've still been getting to group therapy each week and have been getting out a bit more than i usually would.
While my body has been protesting, having had a couple of productive weeks, has been helping my mental and emotional health.
I am finding myself actually enjoying my time away from home a lot more and in turn, i have been able to better manage my anxiety while i'm out.
While there are a lot of positives going on, i feel like i'm in another transitioning stage right now and it's causing me to feel like i'm struggling a bit again.
I'm now noticing that i'm not liking my time spent within the family home, on days where i know i have nothing planned.
I know having my down time is still important, so i am still trying to view it as a healthy thing when it happens but it's hard to see it that way, when the place you spend the most time in, happens to be the biggest cause to your anxiety and stress.
That's what it's like for me.
I don't know what i'm going to do about this situation yet but i think it's just enough for me to now know what the trigger has been for me. It wasn't something i was fully aware of, until very recently.
That aside, things are still going as well as can be expected for me right now.
On that note, i'll leave it there.
Until next time,
Stay strong and be you,
~Karly xo
Prior to the post i put up a few weeks ago, i was struggling with high anxiety and depression. I even trialed an anti-depressant during this time but decided i didn't want to continue with it.
Since I've broken through this hard time to an extent, I've managed to grow further on the positive aspects of my life. The biggest being my relationship.
My hardest time hit not long after my boyfriend and i got together. I was worried that we'd quickly be torn apart but my partner was and has been very, very patient and supportive of me, which i value and appreciate more than anyone could ever know.
We've been together for just over 3 weeks now and as the days go by, i feel we just get stronger and stronger overall, which is a new and very great thing for me to be experiencing with someone.
My boyfriend and i see each other frequently, which in turn has also been very helpful in filling up more days in my week. I've still been getting to group therapy each week and have been getting out a bit more than i usually would.
While my body has been protesting, having had a couple of productive weeks, has been helping my mental and emotional health.
I am finding myself actually enjoying my time away from home a lot more and in turn, i have been able to better manage my anxiety while i'm out.
While there are a lot of positives going on, i feel like i'm in another transitioning stage right now and it's causing me to feel like i'm struggling a bit again.
I'm now noticing that i'm not liking my time spent within the family home, on days where i know i have nothing planned.
I know having my down time is still important, so i am still trying to view it as a healthy thing when it happens but it's hard to see it that way, when the place you spend the most time in, happens to be the biggest cause to your anxiety and stress.
That's what it's like for me.
I don't know what i'm going to do about this situation yet but i think it's just enough for me to now know what the trigger has been for me. It wasn't something i was fully aware of, until very recently.
That aside, things are still going as well as can be expected for me right now.
On that note, i'll leave it there.
Until next time,
Stay strong and be you,
~Karly xo
Sunday, 6 March 2016
A Little Bit of Everything
Hey guys, it's been a while and a lot has happened in that time.
I've still been going to group therapy. I started in January of this year and only missed one session in that month. I have been to every session so far since then. I am proud of myself for this because it fulfills one of my main goals and i am honestly kind of surprised at myself for doing this well with it but it just goes to show. that we can achieve what we want if we really want to. This has been an up and down journey for me but all things are and that's okay. It's how we learn, grow and experience new things and i look forward to continuing on this particular journey.
On a different note, i went through an extremely emotional few weeks during last month. The situation involved myself and another guy. We both had strong feelings for one another but things just weren't meant to be. I found it one of the toughest things i've been through in a long time. It not only took it's toll on me emotionally but mentally and physically as well. As hard as it was, i feel i dealt with the situation really well and with my own personal strength and the strength of those around me, i have come out the better side to it all. I'm still sketchy around the edges but it's nothing a little time won't fix.
In terms of my health, i have been struggling with low blood pressure and just like i suspected, it's an issue that relates to my swallowing disorder, in particular, the lack of nutrition i get because of it. I was put on salt tablets and an iron supplement by a heart specialist to see if it helps me. It's only early days but i feel small, good changes are starting to occur now. I'll be sure to keep you updated on this.
Overall, things aren't too bad for me at the moment. Yes, issues like weight loss and high anxiety have occurred but considering what i've been going through over the past few months, i feel like i'm doing okay at the moment.
I look forward to continuing to keep up with set goals and work towards new ones. I have a new guy in my life now and things are going really well with that. I'll also finally be seeing a dietitian at the end of next week. They'll be more on these topics next time.
Until then,
Stay strong and be you.
Love Karly. xo
I've still been going to group therapy. I started in January of this year and only missed one session in that month. I have been to every session so far since then. I am proud of myself for this because it fulfills one of my main goals and i am honestly kind of surprised at myself for doing this well with it but it just goes to show. that we can achieve what we want if we really want to. This has been an up and down journey for me but all things are and that's okay. It's how we learn, grow and experience new things and i look forward to continuing on this particular journey.
On a different note, i went through an extremely emotional few weeks during last month. The situation involved myself and another guy. We both had strong feelings for one another but things just weren't meant to be. I found it one of the toughest things i've been through in a long time. It not only took it's toll on me emotionally but mentally and physically as well. As hard as it was, i feel i dealt with the situation really well and with my own personal strength and the strength of those around me, i have come out the better side to it all. I'm still sketchy around the edges but it's nothing a little time won't fix.
In terms of my health, i have been struggling with low blood pressure and just like i suspected, it's an issue that relates to my swallowing disorder, in particular, the lack of nutrition i get because of it. I was put on salt tablets and an iron supplement by a heart specialist to see if it helps me. It's only early days but i feel small, good changes are starting to occur now. I'll be sure to keep you updated on this.
Overall, things aren't too bad for me at the moment. Yes, issues like weight loss and high anxiety have occurred but considering what i've been going through over the past few months, i feel like i'm doing okay at the moment.
I look forward to continuing to keep up with set goals and work towards new ones. I have a new guy in my life now and things are going really well with that. I'll also finally be seeing a dietitian at the end of next week. They'll be more on these topics next time.
Until then,
Stay strong and be you.
Love Karly. xo
Monday, 25 January 2016
What's Been Happening with Me?
Earlier this month, i pushed myself way outside of my comfort zone, all in one go. While i got some good out of this, i came crashing down, hard.
You know how some people with swallowing disorders have little energy and therefore can't do much? Well i'm like that too and having anxiety mixed in with this, makes for an even harder time. For me personally, it can make it harder for me to determine whether something i'm experiencing is related to my swallowing disorder or anxiety, or maybe even a bit of both. I have been particularly struggling with this over this month.
I have been experiencing heart palpitations, chest pain and difficulty breathing for most of this month. I was trying to convince myself that it was ''just anxiety,'' but now i'm not so sure that i should be doing that, as i blacked out early hours of Monday morning, last week. I've never blacked out before from anxiety, so don't associate the two. Therefore, i now think it's my body warning me/giving up on me even further, in relation to my swallowing disorder.
I know a lot of people with swallowing disorders experience really bad anxiety and depression and i'm certainly no stranger to this myself. I feel like going through this added chest stuff and other things i've been experiencing physically, has caused me to go back into my more severe bout of anxiety and depression, which is something i go through every few months or so. I feel like getting into what this means for me would make this too long of a post but i will briefly go over the realizations i've made and where i want to go from here.
I have to put my health first and stick to it this time. It's a goal within itself and without getting somewhere with this, i'm not going to be able to work towards or achieve my other goals. I know this from experience.
Being let down by doctors is always the hardest thing for me to go through but that doesn't mean i should stop trying. My wanting to get better and my wanting to live my life in the way i want to, is stronger than that. It can and will get me through this if i let it.
This is going to be an extremely long and hard journey for me but i know this is the right way to go about this, for me. After all, i said i was going to make 2016 the year in which things start happening for me and this is where i make that start.
Plus i know i'll continue having the best support from you guys and remember, i'm always here for you all as well. Together we will improve.
I'll continue keeping you up to date on my journey.
Until next time,
Stay strong and be you.
~Karly. xo
You know how some people with swallowing disorders have little energy and therefore can't do much? Well i'm like that too and having anxiety mixed in with this, makes for an even harder time. For me personally, it can make it harder for me to determine whether something i'm experiencing is related to my swallowing disorder or anxiety, or maybe even a bit of both. I have been particularly struggling with this over this month.
I have been experiencing heart palpitations, chest pain and difficulty breathing for most of this month. I was trying to convince myself that it was ''just anxiety,'' but now i'm not so sure that i should be doing that, as i blacked out early hours of Monday morning, last week. I've never blacked out before from anxiety, so don't associate the two. Therefore, i now think it's my body warning me/giving up on me even further, in relation to my swallowing disorder.
I know a lot of people with swallowing disorders experience really bad anxiety and depression and i'm certainly no stranger to this myself. I feel like going through this added chest stuff and other things i've been experiencing physically, has caused me to go back into my more severe bout of anxiety and depression, which is something i go through every few months or so. I feel like getting into what this means for me would make this too long of a post but i will briefly go over the realizations i've made and where i want to go from here.
I have to put my health first and stick to it this time. It's a goal within itself and without getting somewhere with this, i'm not going to be able to work towards or achieve my other goals. I know this from experience.
Being let down by doctors is always the hardest thing for me to go through but that doesn't mean i should stop trying. My wanting to get better and my wanting to live my life in the way i want to, is stronger than that. It can and will get me through this if i let it.
This is going to be an extremely long and hard journey for me but i know this is the right way to go about this, for me. After all, i said i was going to make 2016 the year in which things start happening for me and this is where i make that start.
Plus i know i'll continue having the best support from you guys and remember, i'm always here for you all as well. Together we will improve.
I'll continue keeping you up to date on my journey.
Until next time,
Stay strong and be you.
~Karly. xo
Tuesday, 5 January 2016
re. group therapy
Last night, i attended a group therapy session for the first time. I loved it just as much as i thought i would & i will definitely be going back!
I got there early, so had some time to talk to the psychologist & other people who were also attending the session. I felt like i was being awkward because i'm not good with small talk but the people were nice & either said a simple hello or had a bit of a chat with me.
The session started with our topic for the night. I was familiar with some things through having been in one on one therapy in the past but there is always something new to learn when it comes to mental health. I have a handout based on our topic & have remembered some things but i've decided that next time i'll bring a journal to jot things down in.
After topic time we had a break & had time to chat with one another again. This time i was a little more comfortable & even opened up a little bit to one girl about something i was planning to share with the group. This girl (i do recall her name but won't share here) was so lovely & understanding about what i did tell her & we ended up having a casual chat about many things.
After our break, we were up to ''sharing time.'' Some people talked, others didn't, so before i knew it, i was being asked whether i wanted to share or not. Well, before this my heart was already racing & i had become fidgety, so i said something about wanting to but i'm not good with speaking in front of people. I was given a little reassurance, so i started to speak.
Well, all too quickly, my voice started shaking & i suddenly started crying. I felt so silly but i shouldn't have. Everyone in the room treated this moment in a way that made it such an okay thing to be doing. I was allowed a little time to collect myself & i managed (i think) to say everything i wanted to.
As i'm a very empathetic person, i instantly came out of my state as soon as someone else started sharing. With every person that shared after me, i realized that a few others felt like me, which also made me feel more okay about the moment i had.
As so many of us could relate to one another, we all continued to sit together after ''sharing time'' & had a good discussion before ending the session. By this time & actually even before this, i had settled more into things & therefore felt a lot more comfortable.
A lot of us lingered after the session to chat even further but unfortunately i couldn't stay for too long but i'll arrange things a little differently to be able to next time.
So all up, i found this a really good experience. Every single person who was there was so lovely & compassionate & i am proud of myself too. From the small talk to sharing in the group, i achieved a lot of things, that i would never have done if i were still the same person i had been just a few years ago.
So my message to you all is to try something new because you never know where it'll lead until you do.
On that note..
Until next time,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly xo
I got there early, so had some time to talk to the psychologist & other people who were also attending the session. I felt like i was being awkward because i'm not good with small talk but the people were nice & either said a simple hello or had a bit of a chat with me.
The session started with our topic for the night. I was familiar with some things through having been in one on one therapy in the past but there is always something new to learn when it comes to mental health. I have a handout based on our topic & have remembered some things but i've decided that next time i'll bring a journal to jot things down in.
After topic time we had a break & had time to chat with one another again. This time i was a little more comfortable & even opened up a little bit to one girl about something i was planning to share with the group. This girl (i do recall her name but won't share here) was so lovely & understanding about what i did tell her & we ended up having a casual chat about many things.
After our break, we were up to ''sharing time.'' Some people talked, others didn't, so before i knew it, i was being asked whether i wanted to share or not. Well, before this my heart was already racing & i had become fidgety, so i said something about wanting to but i'm not good with speaking in front of people. I was given a little reassurance, so i started to speak.
Well, all too quickly, my voice started shaking & i suddenly started crying. I felt so silly but i shouldn't have. Everyone in the room treated this moment in a way that made it such an okay thing to be doing. I was allowed a little time to collect myself & i managed (i think) to say everything i wanted to.
As i'm a very empathetic person, i instantly came out of my state as soon as someone else started sharing. With every person that shared after me, i realized that a few others felt like me, which also made me feel more okay about the moment i had.
As so many of us could relate to one another, we all continued to sit together after ''sharing time'' & had a good discussion before ending the session. By this time & actually even before this, i had settled more into things & therefore felt a lot more comfortable.
A lot of us lingered after the session to chat even further but unfortunately i couldn't stay for too long but i'll arrange things a little differently to be able to next time.
So all up, i found this a really good experience. Every single person who was there was so lovely & compassionate & i am proud of myself too. From the small talk to sharing in the group, i achieved a lot of things, that i would never have done if i were still the same person i had been just a few years ago.
So my message to you all is to try something new because you never know where it'll lead until you do.
On that note..
Until next time,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly xo
Saturday, 19 December 2015
I'm going away for Christmas but dysphagia!
Hey guys,
I had a bit of a vent in a Facebook support group the other day & realized i could write a blog post based on the things i shared, so that's exactly what i'm going to do for you guys now.
If you've read my last two posts, you'll know that I've been stuck in a harder place lately & that I decided within myself that I want to better that.
Yes, i have been achieving small things since then & that's great. Small steps are the way to go but i feel like Christmas is going to be a big step for me & it's not one i feel ready for but am expected by others to do.
For a while, all that came to me were negative thoughts & emotions when i would think about & envision this Christmas but then i simply thought ''mindset,'' & that's where a bit of a change has come.
Yes, i will have to travel for Christmas but i am going to end up being in a house with family, so in a way i'm going to be in the same environment that i am in right now, in my own home.
I will be bringing my own food/drinks with me & the family that'll be there with me already know this & i'm sure if i prefer to eat/drink on my own, that will be accepted by the people who are there.
There are a few other things i'm worried about & it's a given that i'm going to struggle physically & mentally but it's about adapting, so i can feel the best i can.
I've even more recently been thinking about activities i like to do & a stand out for me is photography. I'm getting a new camera for Christmas & being in the country will provide me with the perfect opportunity to get back into this. The thought actually excites me & it made me realize that balance is key here too.
Yes, we have to put focus into our dysphagia & everything that relates to it but we need to engage in other things in life too. I think throwing ourselves into the things we love even more during tougher times, is even more beneficial.
So, with this being said, what are you getting up to for Christmas? How do you feel about this? How do you plan on staying well nourished? & finally, what are some activities that you enjoy doing, that you could do during this time?
These are just some things you could ask yourself or you could even let me know about if you like.
I always find it hard to end a post, hahah! but i'm going to go now.
Christmas wishes to you all & if you don't celebrate, i still wish you the best with whatever it is you're doing.
As always, get in touch with me if you'd like to chat.
I'll catch you with another post again soon,
Karly. xo
I had a bit of a vent in a Facebook support group the other day & realized i could write a blog post based on the things i shared, so that's exactly what i'm going to do for you guys now.
If you've read my last two posts, you'll know that I've been stuck in a harder place lately & that I decided within myself that I want to better that.
Yes, i have been achieving small things since then & that's great. Small steps are the way to go but i feel like Christmas is going to be a big step for me & it's not one i feel ready for but am expected by others to do.
For a while, all that came to me were negative thoughts & emotions when i would think about & envision this Christmas but then i simply thought ''mindset,'' & that's where a bit of a change has come.
Yes, i will have to travel for Christmas but i am going to end up being in a house with family, so in a way i'm going to be in the same environment that i am in right now, in my own home.
I will be bringing my own food/drinks with me & the family that'll be there with me already know this & i'm sure if i prefer to eat/drink on my own, that will be accepted by the people who are there.
There are a few other things i'm worried about & it's a given that i'm going to struggle physically & mentally but it's about adapting, so i can feel the best i can.
I've even more recently been thinking about activities i like to do & a stand out for me is photography. I'm getting a new camera for Christmas & being in the country will provide me with the perfect opportunity to get back into this. The thought actually excites me & it made me realize that balance is key here too.
Yes, we have to put focus into our dysphagia & everything that relates to it but we need to engage in other things in life too. I think throwing ourselves into the things we love even more during tougher times, is even more beneficial.
So, with this being said, what are you getting up to for Christmas? How do you feel about this? How do you plan on staying well nourished? & finally, what are some activities that you enjoy doing, that you could do during this time?
These are just some things you could ask yourself or you could even let me know about if you like.
I always find it hard to end a post, hahah! but i'm going to go now.
Christmas wishes to you all & if you don't celebrate, i still wish you the best with whatever it is you're doing.
As always, get in touch with me if you'd like to chat.
I'll catch you with another post again soon,
Karly. xo
Wednesday, 16 December 2015
Recap of (12/12/15) Meet up with Friend
Hey guys,
As i mentioned in my last post, i was going to meet up with a friend, which did occur. So, i thought i'd give you a little insight into how this went for me.
A stand out in the morning for me, was that i found myself experiencing a sudden burst of anxiety. I'm not convinced that i was having a panic attack but then again, sometimes it's hard to say. I was annoyed that it was happening & i couldn't understand why it was but lets face it, there are many factors that could've triggered it. A few being - I was meeting this friend in person for the first time, I would be travelling out to an area i'm unfamiliar with & isolating myself because of my swallowing disorder means this isn't a situation i've put myself in for a long while. Of course, we don't think like this during experiencing bad anxiety though now do we?
My Mum drove me to the shopping center we were to meet up at & the funny thing was, i didn't feel anxious during this. Maybe it was because i released most of my anxieties earlier? Then again, who knows when it comes to anxiety?
For a little while, i felt awkward with my friend. Well, maybe it was more of a nervous energy. The kind i think a lot of us experience a lot anyway. I think the biggest struggle for me was, to find some sort of independence. So, i just kind of started to throw myself into things after a little while. Whether it be leading the way, ordering at a cafe, browsing through things in a store & etc, it helped make that nervous energy settle a little. Of course, chatting with my friend helped too.
All up, i would say that i achieved a lot during this experience & above all, i had a great time with my friend & we're already thinking of other things to do in the new year.
I hope some of you get something out of this post. For me, it helps me realise that i can do things despite my swallowing disorder, despite experiencing anxiety.
As a side note - in terms of the group therapy, i messed up & went to the wrong location on Tuesday (I don't function well with a migraine), so i won't be getting there until after Christmas now but once i do, i'll be sure to update you all about it.
In terms of Christmas, my family & i are going to stay with other family in the country. The thought gives me anxiety but just like i've said, i met up with a friend, so i'll find my way through this too.
Anyway, let me know if you like this post & would enjoy seeing more like this.
Merry Christmas & a happy new year to you all!
Catch you all again soon,
Karly xo
As i mentioned in my last post, i was going to meet up with a friend, which did occur. So, i thought i'd give you a little insight into how this went for me.
A stand out in the morning for me, was that i found myself experiencing a sudden burst of anxiety. I'm not convinced that i was having a panic attack but then again, sometimes it's hard to say. I was annoyed that it was happening & i couldn't understand why it was but lets face it, there are many factors that could've triggered it. A few being - I was meeting this friend in person for the first time, I would be travelling out to an area i'm unfamiliar with & isolating myself because of my swallowing disorder means this isn't a situation i've put myself in for a long while. Of course, we don't think like this during experiencing bad anxiety though now do we?
My Mum drove me to the shopping center we were to meet up at & the funny thing was, i didn't feel anxious during this. Maybe it was because i released most of my anxieties earlier? Then again, who knows when it comes to anxiety?
For a little while, i felt awkward with my friend. Well, maybe it was more of a nervous energy. The kind i think a lot of us experience a lot anyway. I think the biggest struggle for me was, to find some sort of independence. So, i just kind of started to throw myself into things after a little while. Whether it be leading the way, ordering at a cafe, browsing through things in a store & etc, it helped make that nervous energy settle a little. Of course, chatting with my friend helped too.
All up, i would say that i achieved a lot during this experience & above all, i had a great time with my friend & we're already thinking of other things to do in the new year.
I hope some of you get something out of this post. For me, it helps me realise that i can do things despite my swallowing disorder, despite experiencing anxiety.
As a side note - in terms of the group therapy, i messed up & went to the wrong location on Tuesday (I don't function well with a migraine), so i won't be getting there until after Christmas now but once i do, i'll be sure to update you all about it.
In terms of Christmas, my family & i are going to stay with other family in the country. The thought gives me anxiety but just like i've said, i met up with a friend, so i'll find my way through this too.
Anyway, let me know if you like this post & would enjoy seeing more like this.
Merry Christmas & a happy new year to you all!
Catch you all again soon,
Karly xo
Friday, 4 December 2015
Crossroads
Hey guys,
I've been in a state lately where i've been feeling unhappy & this in turn is causing me to not want to do anything or see anyone & it's even been affecting the way i view myself & what i do. So basically. i've been lazing around at home as much as possible, i don't even like to see family (which is very strange of me) & i end up being unhappy with the things i share online & end up deleting them. Crazy stuff right?
I've been finding it difficult to tell myself & others how i've been feeling & why & where i want to go from here but i think i've finally worked at least a few things out.
I am the reason why i'm feeling this way & i've realized it's because i focus more on the things in my life that i want to change but have no control over. The biggest example being my swallowing disorder.
Now that i've worked this out & have been inspired by a friend, i have moved into a different state, where i've decided i do want to better myself & in turn, better my life. I can imagine myself being out in the world, trying things i never have before. It's a good thought & a good feeling.
Therefore, I have made plans with a friend to meet up with her & will be doing this with two others in the new year.
I've also decided that i want to go back to therapy but instead of doing one on one therapy, which i've experienced a lot, i want to try group therapy.
I know i'm going to find it difficult to break into these things & anything else really but i think doing activities routinely will be the most beneficial for me.
I think this is everything i have to say, so i'll leave it here.
As always, feel free to contact me for a chat if you'd like.
I'll be sure to keep you all up to date with how things are going.
Until next time,
Stay strong & lots of love,
Karly. xo
I've been in a state lately where i've been feeling unhappy & this in turn is causing me to not want to do anything or see anyone & it's even been affecting the way i view myself & what i do. So basically. i've been lazing around at home as much as possible, i don't even like to see family (which is very strange of me) & i end up being unhappy with the things i share online & end up deleting them. Crazy stuff right?
I've been finding it difficult to tell myself & others how i've been feeling & why & where i want to go from here but i think i've finally worked at least a few things out.
I am the reason why i'm feeling this way & i've realized it's because i focus more on the things in my life that i want to change but have no control over. The biggest example being my swallowing disorder.
Now that i've worked this out & have been inspired by a friend, i have moved into a different state, where i've decided i do want to better myself & in turn, better my life. I can imagine myself being out in the world, trying things i never have before. It's a good thought & a good feeling.
Therefore, I have made plans with a friend to meet up with her & will be doing this with two others in the new year.
I've also decided that i want to go back to therapy but instead of doing one on one therapy, which i've experienced a lot, i want to try group therapy.
I know i'm going to find it difficult to break into these things & anything else really but i think doing activities routinely will be the most beneficial for me.
I think this is everything i have to say, so i'll leave it here.
As always, feel free to contact me for a chat if you'd like.
I'll be sure to keep you all up to date with how things are going.
Until next time,
Stay strong & lots of love,
Karly. xo
Saturday, 7 November 2015
My Goals
On Sun the 1st of Nov, i decided to set myself 2 goals. One was to go for a walk each day and the other, to eat at least once a day.
So far, i have eaten mashed oatmeal with apple everyday (once a day) and have eaten curry soup on top of that, over the past 2 days. (again, once in a day)
Over this week, i have discovered that walking is more of a challenge for me but i still have been everyday, except for Tues. (Was having a really bad pain day)
I am proud of myself for what i have achieved over this week and hope to keep this going. I'll also add in more goals at some point too.
I know there are going to be days where i might not achieve these goals or whatever else it might be but that's okay.
With a condition like this it can be hard to do what others take for granted. I know i myself struggle, so when i feel the most well, i quickly take that moment to shower or eat or walk or whatever else it may be. How i feel, both mentally and physically, is always changing throughout the day/night, so that's why i've become a spontaneous person.
I just wanted to share this incase any of you guys are really struggling right now. I know what it's like to be really unwell, both physically and mentally, with this condition but it is possible to still have better times too.
You guys and the positivity i have within myself get me through every day and night and know that i'm here for you all too.
Thanks to those who have been in touch with me. Never be shy to keep doing so and to everyone else, feel free to do so too. It makes my day like nothing else to interact with you guys.
Much love and strength to you all.
~Karly xo
Friday, 25 September 2015
My past (nearly) 2 weeks
Hi loves, i thought i'd share with you all what i've been going through for nearly 2 weeks now.
For those of you who have swallowing problems, you'll know how greatly it can affect our mental health at times.
Well, i'm ''in that time.''
It's usually a severe thing for me, where i'll get really anxious and depressed. It's still like that this time but i have other things mixed in with it. such as anger and wanting to be rebellious.
While the swallowing and related issues are the biggest things affecting me, i think what is making this time more severe, is that i have had/am having other things affecting me too.
I usually seek support during these times but in the earlier part of all this, i had to be very careful because i knew i would likely blow up at people for no good reason.
Although, i did drop little things now and then to my Mum to give her an idea of what's going on with me. Two nights ago, i ended up breaking down in front of her. I'm lucky that i've had my Mum's full support with all this for a while now, so it made this time not feel as bad.
I've had a long break from professionals of all kinds because i haven't known who to go to, as everyone ends up saying ''i can't help you.''
I decided to make a post in an Achalasia support group i'm in on Facebook and i received many suggestions on who to see. My Mum and i are going to discuss these options and then we'll decide where to go from there.
My biggest advice to anyone going through something like this, is to seek support. Yeah, some people don't approach the situation well but if you keep trying more people, you will find those who are right for you in this time.
Until next time,
Stay strong loves and remember, you can always drop me a comment or an email if you'd like to chat.
~Karly xo
For those of you who have swallowing problems, you'll know how greatly it can affect our mental health at times.
Well, i'm ''in that time.''
It's usually a severe thing for me, where i'll get really anxious and depressed. It's still like that this time but i have other things mixed in with it. such as anger and wanting to be rebellious.
While the swallowing and related issues are the biggest things affecting me, i think what is making this time more severe, is that i have had/am having other things affecting me too.
I usually seek support during these times but in the earlier part of all this, i had to be very careful because i knew i would likely blow up at people for no good reason.
Although, i did drop little things now and then to my Mum to give her an idea of what's going on with me. Two nights ago, i ended up breaking down in front of her. I'm lucky that i've had my Mum's full support with all this for a while now, so it made this time not feel as bad.
I've had a long break from professionals of all kinds because i haven't known who to go to, as everyone ends up saying ''i can't help you.''
I decided to make a post in an Achalasia support group i'm in on Facebook and i received many suggestions on who to see. My Mum and i are going to discuss these options and then we'll decide where to go from there.
My biggest advice to anyone going through something like this, is to seek support. Yeah, some people don't approach the situation well but if you keep trying more people, you will find those who are right for you in this time.
Until next time,
Stay strong loves and remember, you can always drop me a comment or an email if you'd like to chat.
~Karly xo
Thursday, 6 August 2015
Annoying Stuff!
Hey loves! Today i thought i'd share with you some of the things that i find annoying when it comes to my difficulty swallowing. So here you go!
1. Routine - this could mean a few things for me but in particular having to drink/eat something every 1-2 hours. The time passes fast!
2. Slow Pace - this relates to when i eat. My weak muscles make it hard to move food towards the back of my mouth and hence makes it hard to clear my mouth. There are things i do to try and make the process easier. It can be tedious!
3. Energy levels - Even though things have improved for me somewhat overall, i still find it tiring to walk around too much. It makes things hard and limiting.
4. Physical discomforts - I find them more of a pain in the arse more than anything else these days. I just wish i knew what it were like to feel comfortable!
5. Socialization - I may have regained bits of my life but i still won't meet new people. Food is the biggest part of life. It wouldn't take long for people to notice ''different'' things about me. I would have to tell them and possibly explain. It would be hard on me and them.
I'm sure there are a lot of other things i could include as well but these were on the top of my head./
I still find it crazy to think that no one would know the problem i had unless i told them. It goes to show that some illnesses really are invisible.
Anyway, that's it from me today.
Remember to get in touch whenever you like. I love the interactions i've had with some of you so far!
Until the next one,
Stay strong and be you.
~Karly xo
1. Routine - this could mean a few things for me but in particular having to drink/eat something every 1-2 hours. The time passes fast!
2. Slow Pace - this relates to when i eat. My weak muscles make it hard to move food towards the back of my mouth and hence makes it hard to clear my mouth. There are things i do to try and make the process easier. It can be tedious!
3. Energy levels - Even though things have improved for me somewhat overall, i still find it tiring to walk around too much. It makes things hard and limiting.
4. Physical discomforts - I find them more of a pain in the arse more than anything else these days. I just wish i knew what it were like to feel comfortable!
5. Socialization - I may have regained bits of my life but i still won't meet new people. Food is the biggest part of life. It wouldn't take long for people to notice ''different'' things about me. I would have to tell them and possibly explain. It would be hard on me and them.
I'm sure there are a lot of other things i could include as well but these were on the top of my head./
I still find it crazy to think that no one would know the problem i had unless i told them. It goes to show that some illnesses really are invisible.
Anyway, that's it from me today.
Remember to get in touch whenever you like. I love the interactions i've had with some of you so far!
Until the next one,
Stay strong and be you.
~Karly xo
Friday, 17 July 2015
It's not dysphagia but it's still relevant
Hi guys,
My, have i been on an up and down ride since my last post... I have written a lot of it on my Facebook page but not all things... so i'm going to take the time now to open up about certain things...
The biggest thing being, that my Dad no longer lives with us... I thought that i felt numb but how could i truly be, when i always saw my Dad and i as being close?... I still can't work out how i feel, so i certainly can't properly write/speak about it either... The only thing that makes sense to me, is that i must feel like this (whatever this is) because my Dad hasn't told me anything about the situation...
Another thing, that i now think, partly, ties into the Dad situation, is that my anxiety has been acting up again... I just don't feel right, day or night... A stand out to me, is that i've been feeling hot at night and have been having weird/scary dreams for weeks now...
What i'm about to let you in on next, is something i've only just started to talk a little about in Facebook groups, so to get it out there altogether, is a strange feeling for me... I think i might possibly fall into an A-Sexual category... I am by no means ashamed that i might be... I guess it just feels surreal, to know that i might finally be able to make sense of some things about myself...
You may be wondering why i've even shared this with you... Yes, this is a place for me to share my dysphagia related struggles but people with swallowing difficulties are just like anyone else... We are our own person, we still experience lots of other things, both good and bad...
My next post will be more dysphagia related but still, let me know if you would like to see more posts like these... It could be something i do every once in a while...
I'll catch you all soon...
Stay strong and be you...
~Karly. xo
My, have i been on an up and down ride since my last post... I have written a lot of it on my Facebook page but not all things... so i'm going to take the time now to open up about certain things...
The biggest thing being, that my Dad no longer lives with us... I thought that i felt numb but how could i truly be, when i always saw my Dad and i as being close?... I still can't work out how i feel, so i certainly can't properly write/speak about it either... The only thing that makes sense to me, is that i must feel like this (whatever this is) because my Dad hasn't told me anything about the situation...
Another thing, that i now think, partly, ties into the Dad situation, is that my anxiety has been acting up again... I just don't feel right, day or night... A stand out to me, is that i've been feeling hot at night and have been having weird/scary dreams for weeks now...
What i'm about to let you in on next, is something i've only just started to talk a little about in Facebook groups, so to get it out there altogether, is a strange feeling for me... I think i might possibly fall into an A-Sexual category... I am by no means ashamed that i might be... I guess it just feels surreal, to know that i might finally be able to make sense of some things about myself...
You may be wondering why i've even shared this with you... Yes, this is a place for me to share my dysphagia related struggles but people with swallowing difficulties are just like anyone else... We are our own person, we still experience lots of other things, both good and bad...
My next post will be more dysphagia related but still, let me know if you would like to see more posts like these... It could be something i do every once in a while...
I'll catch you all soon...
Stay strong and be you...
~Karly. xo
Tuesday, 16 June 2015
A break in patterns
This dysphagia is a part of me. Obviously, i don't like this fact but if there's nothing i can do about it, what can i do? Well lately, i have chosen to adapt and work around the dysphagia more.
I have been sticking to fluids alone because that's what works best for me. A positive step i have made, is that i sometimes drink in front of people, whether that be in my own home, someone else's home or while i'm out somewhere.
This may not sound like much to some people but for those of you who also have dysphagia or have read my earlier posts and articles, you'll know why this is a big thing to me.
The biggest thing that has happened to me lately, is that i've reconnected with a friend i knew several years ago in school. I was open with my friend about my dysphagia, from the moment we reconnected. He has been good about it but has yet to see it first hand, We are planning on meeting up soon. If i were to write about all my worries regarding this, this would be a long post.
I'm probably overthinking things, I mean, making my own goals and achieving them doesn't tell me things are going to go badly with my friend. It means that i can get through this and more too.
I am sharing this with you because i want you to know that, even when you feel stuck in life, there will come a time where you'll start moving forward again. I wouldn't have thought this two years ago, when my dysphagia first started but finally i've made the choice to live despite it and that's all that matters.
I have been sticking to fluids alone because that's what works best for me. A positive step i have made, is that i sometimes drink in front of people, whether that be in my own home, someone else's home or while i'm out somewhere.
This may not sound like much to some people but for those of you who also have dysphagia or have read my earlier posts and articles, you'll know why this is a big thing to me.
The biggest thing that has happened to me lately, is that i've reconnected with a friend i knew several years ago in school. I was open with my friend about my dysphagia, from the moment we reconnected. He has been good about it but has yet to see it first hand, We are planning on meeting up soon. If i were to write about all my worries regarding this, this would be a long post.
I'm probably overthinking things, I mean, making my own goals and achieving them doesn't tell me things are going to go badly with my friend. It means that i can get through this and more too.
I am sharing this with you because i want you to know that, even when you feel stuck in life, there will come a time where you'll start moving forward again. I wouldn't have thought this two years ago, when my dysphagia first started but finally i've made the choice to live despite it and that's all that matters.
Monday, 1 June 2015
Feeling Crappy
Recently, I have been going through '''my negative time.'' I say it like this because i experience it in the same way each time and everyone's experience of negativity is different.
I don't think I've shared much about this here, so thought i would try doing so now.
Every once in a while, i feel more frustrated than usual with my swallowing problem and everything relating to it. I'll get thoughts such as, ''I am so over feeling something in my throat and having to clear my throat all the time,'' .. ''Australia is a crappy country that can't meet my simple requests,'' .. I can't believe the granules of Milo make me half choke,'' .. and the thoughts go on and on.
I'll feel fed up with everything i drink and i'll think, ''Here we go again,'' .. ''This tastes like crap,'' .. ''I feel like vomiting,'' .. etc. It gets to the point where i only drink because i ''have to.''
I'll lose interest in everything. Whether it be going out somewhere, talking to loved ones, watching you-tube videos.. I'll even get frustrated with my pet dog, who i love deeply.
I'll just laze around, feeling negative about everything. I'll remember my life as it used to be and will think about how it's been since my swallowing problem. It's hard enough to think about, let alone write about here but i'm sure there will be a time when I'll feel like i can and when that time comes, i'll share it with you guys.
At night, I'll feel anxious and will have thoughts like, ''Will i ever be able to eat again?'' .. ''Will i ever be able to start my life? .. ''I want to help myself but i don't know how,'' ..''Why won't anyone help me?'' and many other thoughts.
I don't just struggle mentally during this time. I'll also feel crappy physically and i'll usually convince myself, and others, that i need to be in hospital.
It's hard to do this experience any justice through trying to write about it but i really hope you get something out of reading this.
There are probably things i have missed too but at least i have a record of what i'm experiencing right at this moment.
For those of you who have a swallowing problem, do you experience anything like i have mentioned here? If you feel comfortable sharing, i'd like to hear from you.
Thank you to those who have contacted me. It sucks that we go through this but it's good that we have each other.
Until next time,
Keep fighting - I will too.
~Karly. xo
Wednesday, 13 May 2015
I Need Your Help
Hi everyone, i'm back with another post today.
My difficulty swallowing is still un-diagnosed, even after seeing one of the best ENT specialists in Adelaide, South Australia.
I'm 19 years of age and my life has been put on hold for 2 years because of this struggle.
I'm now terrified that i'm going to suffer with this and lead a glum life forever or die young.
On the way home from seeing my specialist today, i told myself to keep it together and think of a plan of action.
I decided to research online, to look for in-patient clinics for people with swallowing disorders but couldn't find anything.
This is where you guys come in.
If any of you could do something in regards to any of the following, i'd much appreciate it.
1) Are there in-patient clinics for people with swallowing disorders?
2) Are any of these clinics in Australia? Preferably South Australia.
3) Share this with whoever you think may be able to help
4) Contact me - in the comments below or via my email, which is Karlylaura95@icloud.com
Thank you.
My difficulty swallowing is still un-diagnosed, even after seeing one of the best ENT specialists in Adelaide, South Australia.
I'm 19 years of age and my life has been put on hold for 2 years because of this struggle.
I'm now terrified that i'm going to suffer with this and lead a glum life forever or die young.
On the way home from seeing my specialist today, i told myself to keep it together and think of a plan of action.
I decided to research online, to look for in-patient clinics for people with swallowing disorders but couldn't find anything.
This is where you guys come in.
If any of you could do something in regards to any of the following, i'd much appreciate it.
1) Are there in-patient clinics for people with swallowing disorders?
2) Are any of these clinics in Australia? Preferably South Australia.
3) Share this with whoever you think may be able to help
4) Contact me - in the comments below or via my email, which is Karlylaura95@icloud.com
Thank you.
Tuesday, 12 May 2015
I'm back!
Hey everyone, as some of you may have noticed, i haven't blogged in a while.
Over the past few days, i've been trying to write something for this blog.
I quickly realized, that i wasn't happy with what i'd written.
Basically, i wasn't feeling any of the positive effects, that i'd usually get from blogging.
I decided to leave it and i started to feel better.
This morning, i suddenly realized what's bothering me and wanted to share it with you all.
My most used social media site, is Facebook.
I felt it was a place where i could share anything, both the good and the bad.
However, i feel like i can't do this anymore.
I now know, that it's because people's responses are bringing me down.
Not only that but when i look through my news-feed, other people's posts are affecting me negatively as well.
If i'm going to be completely honest, i feel like the support groups i'm in aren't giving me what they used to anymore.
The more i realize, the more i see my Facebook experience isn't what it used to be.
...but more than that, it's not affecting me in a positive way anymore.
In the back of my mind, i know what i have to do but change is something that always comes with fear for me.
...but when i think about all the changes i have made in the past, both online and offline, a lot of them have provided me with much relief and better things come in time.
So, i'm here to tell you that i'm now going to start making changes online, that i feel will benefit me.
Is there anything currently bothering you? Are you avoiding making changes? Or are you/have you made changes? What have you gained from doing so?
Feel free to comment below if you like and i'll get back to you.
Thank you for joining me,
Until next time,
Stay strong and be you,
~Karly xo
Over the past few days, i've been trying to write something for this blog.
I quickly realized, that i wasn't happy with what i'd written.
Basically, i wasn't feeling any of the positive effects, that i'd usually get from blogging.
I decided to leave it and i started to feel better.
This morning, i suddenly realized what's bothering me and wanted to share it with you all.
My most used social media site, is Facebook.
I felt it was a place where i could share anything, both the good and the bad.
However, i feel like i can't do this anymore.
I now know, that it's because people's responses are bringing me down.
Not only that but when i look through my news-feed, other people's posts are affecting me negatively as well.
If i'm going to be completely honest, i feel like the support groups i'm in aren't giving me what they used to anymore.
The more i realize, the more i see my Facebook experience isn't what it used to be.
...but more than that, it's not affecting me in a positive way anymore.
In the back of my mind, i know what i have to do but change is something that always comes with fear for me.
...but when i think about all the changes i have made in the past, both online and offline, a lot of them have provided me with much relief and better things come in time.
So, i'm here to tell you that i'm now going to start making changes online, that i feel will benefit me.
Is there anything currently bothering you? Are you avoiding making changes? Or are you/have you made changes? What have you gained from doing so?
Feel free to comment below if you like and i'll get back to you.
Thank you for joining me,
Until next time,
Stay strong and be you,
~Karly xo
Monday, 16 March 2015
Opening Up
Lately, I'm going through one of my phases, where I feel on edge. It's where I can either end up panicking or having a break down of some sort, or even a mixture of both. For a bit, I won't know which way it'll go, that's where I'm at right now, hence my calling it ''on edge.''
I don't find consuming liquids a desirable thing to do but I do it because It's the only way I can try and keep myself stable. I am sick of the familiar tastes, I can't drink in front of others and there's several ''rituals'' I have to do before, during and after drinking, to make the process more comfortable and safe for me to do. It's a boring, exhausting and depressing pattern to my everyday.
I'm 2yrs and a bit into my dysphagia and I still find food smells desirable. There was a time where I was kind of ''switched off'' from everything food related but lately it's really getting to me again. When I've tried to eat things, I love the taste but the food always gets stuck as soon as I've swallowed and some of it stays behind in my mouth too. There's a lot to it and it's torture.
No matter how much I ''psych myself up'' before trying something, the food gets stuck. It's all really hard to deal with at the time. Even just to think about it is tough. That's why food smells are hard for me to deal with as I make that connection, to everything that will happen to me if I started eating something, both physically and mentally.
The hardest part, is that those who are supposed to be closest to me, don't know about this and all the other things I go through with dysphagia. No one believes in me when I say I'm in a serious way physically, so how can I confide in these people about things like I've just told you guys about? It's very disheartening and almost worse than anything else.
I hope this gives you more of an insight as to what I go through, whether you have dysphagia or not, feel free to ask me further questions and etc. I'm more than happy to open up more to you guys.
Stay strong,
Love Karly xo
I don't find consuming liquids a desirable thing to do but I do it because It's the only way I can try and keep myself stable. I am sick of the familiar tastes, I can't drink in front of others and there's several ''rituals'' I have to do before, during and after drinking, to make the process more comfortable and safe for me to do. It's a boring, exhausting and depressing pattern to my everyday.
I'm 2yrs and a bit into my dysphagia and I still find food smells desirable. There was a time where I was kind of ''switched off'' from everything food related but lately it's really getting to me again. When I've tried to eat things, I love the taste but the food always gets stuck as soon as I've swallowed and some of it stays behind in my mouth too. There's a lot to it and it's torture.
No matter how much I ''psych myself up'' before trying something, the food gets stuck. It's all really hard to deal with at the time. Even just to think about it is tough. That's why food smells are hard for me to deal with as I make that connection, to everything that will happen to me if I started eating something, both physically and mentally.
The hardest part, is that those who are supposed to be closest to me, don't know about this and all the other things I go through with dysphagia. No one believes in me when I say I'm in a serious way physically, so how can I confide in these people about things like I've just told you guys about? It's very disheartening and almost worse than anything else.
I hope this gives you more of an insight as to what I go through, whether you have dysphagia or not, feel free to ask me further questions and etc. I'm more than happy to open up more to you guys.
Stay strong,
Love Karly xo
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