Over these 2yrs, i have been to many professionals, most of which have let me down. This is something that has affected me more than my swallowing problem itself.
On Thurs 19th Feb, i had my first ever consult with an ENT specialist. I was supposed to see him late last year however, i was in hospital around that time.
Leading up to this appointment, i managed to regain some open mindedness. I was going to give this guy a chance. Even though i haven't had the best experience with doctors, i still believe in doing so.
As soon as i sat down in the office with the ENT doc, i instantly felt very anxious. The anticipation of being let down had suddenly flooded in. When i spoke, my voice shook. However, i started to notice something different about this doctor. It was something in his eyes..his face, the way he spoke..what he said. This guy was really concerned and he didn't just go on what other professionals i had seen told him. This man is his own person, i thought. His own doctor.
Within minutes of my being there, this doctor took me to another room to have a larangoscopy. I had never had one done before, although i have had an attempted try at a manometry, so i told myself that this'll be nothing compared to that.
I didn't hesitate as the tube was about to be put up my nose and down my throat a little. I just let it happen. I had told myself that this year will be the year i get answers, no matter what i have to do to get there.
It did get a little uncomfortable at times but discomfort is somewhat easier for me to handle over pain. It didn't hurt, i could just feel the tube at times.
It was a waiting game, while the ENT got me to do certain movements for him while he viewed my throat. Suddenly, the doc asks me to place my hand where i feel something stuck and get pain. He then pressed that part of my throat inwards a little. He then gets my Dad to look at the screen. The doc says, there is something stuck exactly where you feel all your problems.
Soon enough, the scope was over and the doc played back the footage of my throat. Sure enough, there was something stuck down there. My vocal chords and everything else he could view this way seemed fine but there was a dodgy area. The doc said he doesn't know what it is and will have to view it closer while i'm asleep during a more in-depth scoping.
We went back to the other room where the doc said he may have found my problem but everything depends on what he'll find during the next scope, which i expected and understand. He did say though that he thinks my initial problem/cause may be nerve or muscle related, which we may look into later.
Deep down, i have always felt like something is really wrong, at least different and more serious than what everyone else thinks. so i wasn't surprised that something was found. I kind of expected it.
This has been the toughest thing i have ever gone through, overall, these 2yrs. There have been many times i felt like i couldn't fight anymore but there are so many reasons why i want to keep fighting and i'm so glad i did. Whatever this is. may finally be the first step towards getting answers. I am thankful to myself, my Dad, you guys and of course this ENT doctor. I probably thanked him about 5 times.
My scope has been booked in for the Monday coming (23 Feb). I will be put to sleep, which is a fear of mine but as this pain is that bad lately and i just want relief, i am hoping that i'll handle things well on Monday. I'll update when i can.
Thank you for joining me.
Love Karly xo