Tuesday, 31 January 2017

Going through a rough-er patch

Hi guys, i don't really have anything to update you on, in terms of the physical health side of things but i still thought i'd share a few others things with you.

My anxieties have been playing up more again of late, in a way that makes me feel like i'm heading back towards isolation. I say this because i'm staying in the house a lot more again. I don't really make any effort in terms of my appearance either. It sets off quite the cycle.

So, while i know I've done better in some ways (from time to time) of late, it's just a bit hard to recognize that when i'm struggling with other things so much again, if that makes sense. If it's not one thing, it really is another for me. There's always something.

Putting pressure on myself, in hopes that i'll challenge myself and achieve something is just too much for me right now. So, for last week and again this week, I've just decided to carry myself through as best i can, while staying in my comfort zone.

Next week i'll be going back to a psychiatrist that i haven't seen in at least a couple of years. Seeing as i'm going through this again right now, i say it's very good timing. This person and i worked well together before and got me places, so i'm sure the same will happen again this time round too.

These anxieties about going out, they also relate to how i feel physically too and I've also got this fear about going to see doctors again, hence why i have nothing to update you on there. Basically, it's a mixed up thing I've got going on, that's caused me to step back from everything and i mean everything.

Obviously i'll be talking to my psychiatrist about this in more detail but i just thought i'd give you guys a bit of an overview as to where i'm at.

Anyway, i think that pretty much covers what i wanted to say for today, so i'll leave it there.

Until next time,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly xx

Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Support for Dysphagia

Hi guys, I just wanted to take a moment today to share my appreciation for those who provide any form of support for those with swallowing issues. For me personally it has been a life saver, literally.

While it is known that i have dysphagia it is not known as to why, so when i'm going through a particularly hard time, it can be hard for myself or for anyone else to know what to do for me. Even just in general, i end up thinking i must just be crazy or something to be struggling in the way that i am.

During these harder times or even just in general, i'll turn to the supports I've found since i developed dysphagia and that personally help me the best.

Like today, i decided to read over posts in an Achalasia support group i'm in on Facebook. Just to be able to read things that i can relate to, that helped me in itself.

I guess the thing with me is that i hate having this condition so much so, that i end up trying to ignore it and anything about it. Yet, focusing on this blog again recently and looking into the support group again has made me feel ''better'' in a sense recently.

I think this goes to show me that it's probably best for me to continue focusing on the things that relate to what i go through. After all, i can't help what i'm refusing to pay attention too.

Anyway, i think that pretty much covers what i wanted to share with you all today.

I'll leave you with a couple of links to an American based site and an American based group that i particularly find to be helpful for support:


https://www.facebook.com/groups/77953468660/ .

If you're like me and live elsewhere, that doesn't matter. I'm in Australia but just always find their support to be better and they're just as welcoming. ☺

Until next time,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly xo

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

Where i'm at VS, Where i need to be.

Hi guys, I've definitely checked back in again in a more timely manner. 😉 I've just had some thoughts start to swirl around in my head that i thought i could share with you guys.

Basically, i feel like i'm having a flare up with my dysphagia at the moment. I did tell myself a while back that i will start seeing the ''professionals'' for it again in the new year. I guess with how physically uncomfortable I've been feeling of late, it's just intensified my desire to do as such again even more, so, that'll definitely be happening come next month.

Something i found interesting this evening though, is how i decided to google ''dysphagia.'' It made me realise that while i have this condition, i don't actually pay attention to the ins and outs of it. I have it, i feel how i feel and i just do what i can to get by and that's that.

It made me think. no, that's not the way i want to go about this anymore. If i really want my life to work better for what it is right now and to be able to have other things i want in my future, then i'm going to have to do a lot more than just ''do what i can to get by.''

This condition is tough no matter what and i don't know what things are going to look like for me later down the track but i at least want to be able to say that i'm trying, really trying to myself, for myself.

My head, my focus, it has been elsewhere for a lot of this year but i feel like to be thinking like this now, it shows me that i'm finding a space again, a space that i can use to pay my physical ''stuff'' attention again.

I know i'm going to find this all really tricky & disheartening at times as i have in the past but this is at least a starting point. The thoughts are there and i actually i have a referral to go back to a specialist I've seen a few times before.

So, I'll try and keep you guys in the loop as things start happening for me again in this regard. As per, feel free to leave a comment or get in touch with me personally.

Until next time,
Stay strong & be you.
~Karly 😊 xo


Saturday, 10 December 2016

Wow, it's been a while!

Hey guys, so i realise it's been many months since I've posted here, most of this year that is actually. My last posts were written back in March.

You may know that i made the choice at the beginning of this year to get myself out of isolation & actually have some sort of life, even if it meant having dysphagia in it.

Well, i kind of got a bit too caught up in all that. It's not that i forgot about this blog or you guys but i just didn't feel up to contributing to this community, for what ended up being quite a long time, as far as ''blog standards'' go.

Yet, last night while i was lying in bed i found myself thinking ''i want to at least try blogging again. I really want to bring that passion back,'' so, here i am. Better late than never right?

For right now, i just really want to get back in touch with you guys, let me know, how are YOU doing right now?

In terms of myself, i have been re-focusing. I have been putting my attention & efforts back more into myself & my overall well-being - mentally, emotionally & physically.

It might sound simple but it really is easy to lose yourself through the challenges you face in life, i most certainly found that out but clearly, you can and WILL, get back on track again.

There are always going to be hard things, there usually are in my day to day but it's the better moments that make fighting through the struggles worth it for me.

Anyway, if you have stuck around and you're re-visiting this space again right now, i thank you. It really does mean a lot to me.

Take care guys.
I'll do my best to check in with you in a much more timely manner for next time.

Until then,
Stay strong & be you.

~Karly :) xo

Sunday, 27 March 2016

Building on the Positives Regardless

Hi guys, i thought i'd give you all another update as to where i'm at.

Prior to the post i put up a few weeks ago, i was struggling with high anxiety and depression. I even trialed an anti-depressant during this time but decided i didn't want to continue with it.

Since I've broken through this hard time to an extent, I've managed to grow further on the positive aspects of my life. The biggest being my relationship.

My hardest time hit not long after my boyfriend and i got together. I was worried that we'd quickly be torn apart but my partner was and has been very, very patient and supportive of me, which i value and appreciate more than anyone could ever know.

We've been together for just over 3 weeks now and as the days go by, i feel we just get stronger and stronger overall, which is a new and very great thing for me to be experiencing with someone.

My boyfriend and i see each other frequently, which in turn has also been very helpful in filling up more days in my week. I've still been getting to group therapy each week and have been getting out a bit more than i usually would.

While my body has been protesting, having had a couple of productive weeks, has been helping my mental and emotional health.

I am finding myself actually enjoying my time away from home a lot more and in turn, i have been able to better manage my anxiety while i'm out.

While there are a lot of positives going on, i feel like i'm in another transitioning stage right now and it's causing me to feel like i'm struggling a bit again.

I'm now noticing that i'm not liking my time spent within the family home, on days where i know i have nothing planned.

I know having my down time is still important, so i am still trying to view it as a healthy thing when it happens but it's hard to see it that way, when the place you spend the most time in, happens to be the biggest cause to your anxiety and stress.

That's what it's like for me.

I don't know what i'm going to do about this situation yet but i think it's just enough for me to now know what the trigger has been for me. It wasn't something i was fully aware of, until very recently.

That aside, things are still going as well as can be expected for me right now.

On that note, i'll leave it there.

Until next time,
Stay strong and be you,
~Karly xo

Sunday, 6 March 2016

A Little Bit of Everything

Hey guys, it's been a while and a lot has happened in that time.

I've still been going to group therapy. I started in January of this year and only missed one session in that month. I have been to every session so far since then. I am proud of myself for this because it fulfills one of my main goals and i am honestly kind of surprised at myself for doing this well with it but it just goes to show. that we can achieve what we want if we really want to. This has been an up and down journey for me but all things are and that's okay. It's how we learn, grow and experience new things and i look forward to continuing on this particular journey.

On a different note, i went through an extremely emotional few weeks during last month. The situation involved myself and another guy. We both had strong feelings for one another but things just weren't meant to be. I found it one of the toughest things i've been through in a long time. It not only took it's toll on me emotionally but mentally and physically as well. As hard as it was, i feel i dealt with the situation really well and with my own personal strength and the strength of those around me, i have come out the better side to it all. I'm still sketchy around the edges but it's nothing a little time won't fix.

In terms of my health, i have been struggling with low blood pressure and just like i suspected, it's an issue that relates to my swallowing disorder, in particular, the lack of nutrition i get because of it. I was put on salt tablets and an iron supplement by a heart specialist to see if it helps me. It's only early days but i feel small, good changes are starting to occur now. I'll be sure to keep you updated on this.

Overall, things aren't too bad for me at the moment. Yes, issues like weight loss and high anxiety have occurred but considering what i've been going through over the past few months, i feel like i'm doing okay at the moment.

I look forward to continuing to keep up with set goals and work towards new ones. I have a new guy in my life now and things are going really well with that. I'll also finally be seeing a dietitian at the end of next week. They'll be more on these topics next time.

Until then,
Stay strong and be you.
Love Karly. xo

Monday, 25 January 2016

What's Been Happening with Me?

Earlier this month, i pushed myself way outside of my comfort zone, all in one go. While i got some good out of this, i came crashing down, hard.

You know how some people with swallowing disorders have little energy and therefore can't do much? Well i'm like that too and having anxiety mixed in with this, makes for an even harder time. For me personally, it can make it harder for me to determine whether something i'm experiencing is related to my swallowing disorder or anxiety, or maybe even a bit of both. I have been particularly struggling with this over this month.

I have been experiencing heart palpitations, chest pain and difficulty breathing for most of this month. I was trying to convince myself that it was ''just anxiety,'' but now i'm not so sure that i should be doing that, as i blacked out early hours of Monday morning, last week. I've never blacked out before from anxiety, so don't associate the two. Therefore, i now think it's my body warning me/giving up on me even further, in relation to my swallowing disorder.

I know a lot of people with swallowing disorders experience really bad anxiety and depression and i'm certainly no stranger to this myself. I feel like going through this added chest stuff and other things i've been experiencing physically, has caused me to go back into my more severe bout of anxiety and depression, which is something i go through every few months or so. I feel like getting into what this means for me would make this too long of a post but i will briefly go over the realizations i've made and where i want to go from here.

I have to put my health first and stick to it this time. It's a goal within itself and without getting somewhere with this, i'm not going to be able to work towards or achieve my other goals. I know this from experience.

Being let down by doctors is always the hardest thing for me to go through but that doesn't mean i should stop trying. My wanting to get better and my wanting to live my life in the way i want to, is stronger than that. It can and will get me through this if i let it.

This is going to be an extremely long and hard journey for me but i know this is the right way to go about this, for me. After all, i said i was going to make 2016 the year in which things start happening for me and this is where i make that start.

Plus i know i'll continue having the best support from you guys and remember, i'm always here for you all as well. Together we will improve.

I'll continue keeping you up to date on my journey.
Until next time,
Stay strong and be you.
~Karly. xo